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June resolutions
• Be more meticulous and careful even when I’m tired (imagine misplacing two cab receipts which can be claimed. Seriously angry with myself)
• Saving up and planning my finances
• Run for at least once a week regardless how pack it can be
• Pick up a good book to read after the 8th (top of my list as I can’t wait for this to happen!)
• Groom myself properly: brows appt, file my nails
• Pack my messy house
• SPEND LESS THAN 5 BUCKS FOR LUNCH
• Register to retrieve my free Starbucks drinks (by 22nd)
• Use my CNK vouchers (by 22nd)
• Be more independent and improve my analytic skills at work
• Fix my camera (I really have no idea how I’m going to do this since fuji xerox centre is only open during office hours)
• Make a point to come back early for dinner when mum isn’t working
• Meeting up with those important people in my life (seems that I’ve created a distance with everybody:()
• Eat more fruits no matter how unearthly and late it may be when I’m homeWeekends are going to be real precious starting from next week:) still satisfied and fulfilled at my life. Seems like the best period amidst many uncertainties. Always prefer busy>free. Back to OPT later!
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Pms kills:(
Having severe pms that makes me damn croaky and emotional. Imagine waking up in the middle of my afternoon nap with tears. It was quite scary, at how I still dream about the same thing/person again.
Have been working till near 10pm for the past few days! Not complaining because I’m still learning and pretty much gaining satisfaction when I grasp the concepts:)
Definitely dead for my OPT paper and all I asked for is a pass. It is a paper on luck, as quoted by my lecturer and I hate this! Shall just try my very best!
Super busy with my life, yet I’m not forgetting the pain. It makes me even stronger than I thought I could be. Praying for the best for you too.
Going for a run later after the show to release my emotions, retreat from all the stress bugs. Pms will be over in a few days time:)
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One more to go:)
Done with game theory yesterday, and I’m thankful that I’m still able to do the paper. Definitely wouldn’t be able to score given the bare minimum revision that I’d put in. So glad to be able to reach the hall on time, no sudden panic attack despite losing my eraser. Survived better without an eraser as I’m more cautious with my drawings and graphs, double checking every single step. One more OPT t go, and that will really be the end of my tertiary education:D
Finally got the access though my system cocks up once in awhile. Workload is definitely 100 times heavier than all my previous jobs, but I’m really enjoying all the information that was being taught by the mentor and others every other day:) a really great insight to the different terms of the industry! Foresee myself working late almost daily but I hope to survive!
Time has drilled me to become less a peacock, and more of an introvert. I don’t talk much in the office, nor even wish to share many things about me with the colleagues. Pretty comfortable being a “pantry girl”, eating alone and catching the CBD’s area from a bird’s eye view. Colleagues try to strike up a conversation with me once in a while or boost me with some encouragement are enough to tide me through the day! Was grateful for the praises that I’m quite a fast learner. Still feel unconfident about many things though!
PMS:( the syndrome of feeling down and dejected yet not knowing the real reason behind it. I really have nothing much to harp on anymore! Learning how to be contented, living each day as it comes and leaving all to fate are the best pointers from life’s guidebooks:)
Need my precious sleep, rejuvenating for another day and probably reaching home before 9pm. Planning to revise the optimization problems since I read it just now. Notes are my bed time story, and books/magazines/newspapers shall be the real bedtime stories after the 8th:)
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Friendship, the best company besides family. So grateful to have them who really show me the meaning of love. This form of love isn’t anything abstract. As we grow, the gap between us will definitely widen. This is the best period to know who are the true ones.
Sometimes I don’t even know the reason behind deserving such people. I always believe all good things come from gohonsho, and I must learn to treasure it. Bad omens are lessons, that gohonsho specially arranged to make me stronger and tougher.
My eyes are closing as I type my last thoughts of the day on my comfy bed. So glad to be more hectic, lesser time to harp/stalk and more time to smile:)
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“Miracle does happen. The least expected may happen if we live each day without any expectations.”
I know I should be asleep at this moment but my stomach had to growl so badly that I climbed out of bed to have a loaf of bread. Still waiting for it to digest before heading back to sleep!
A new phase of life awaits me, and it’s one that I dreamt of but one that certainly requires an abundance of hardwork, tenacity, energy, discipline and motivation. I’m prepared to be tired and burnt out, but all good things come with a price. Hoping to feel fulfilled each day, like how I’m able to sleep knowing that I’ve accomplish a lot for the day. For these past three years, I just felt like a piece of dead log who has been bumming and lazing around. I have to admit junior college life is ten times more tiring and satisfying than my three years here.
This hustle and bustle of rushing down to different places, juggling the read ups and my studies made me realise the importance of filling myself up. I had too much personal space to think/worry about unnecessary thoughts. In fact, I stopped doing so a week back and positivity sums up to:
- better mentality for papers no matter how screwed I may really feel
- top results for my boy
- getting a golden opportunityGod’s guidance, wisdom and intellect, the courage I gained from the prayers are really my strongest pillar of support. I’m so grateful for losing an ex boyfriend, who makes me channel my energy to better and worthwhile things in life. I admit i was never this holy.
In fact, I have still been keeping him in my prayers almost every day. Always remembering the presence of him and the things I went through, sincerely thanking him for pushing a timid, nonchalant, whiny, childish yet innocent young girl to one with slightly higher confidence, pro activeness and mature girl. I wouldn’t reach this stage in life if not for this, “who doesn’t want a prettier, richer and more capable girlfriend”.
I may not be the richest, prettiest and smartest girl in the world, but I’m slowly coming to terms with many things. However, it’s heartening to see how capable, sweet, demure and wholesome she is. My mind will always acknowledge his happiness and blissfully smile for him:) may all good things last for him, and for me. With all my heart, I will always sincerely wish that the best happen to him. I used to put him as a gauge and wish to outdo him, but this is indeed a foolish thought.
I guess I’m slowly moving out of it as I “disconnect” myself from the outside world, garnering more strength along the way. New challenges ahead, and I know I will never be alone:) Gohonsho will always be with me.
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Three down, three more to go:)
The second was pretty manageable but the third was a disaster. I was never good in analysis in the first place. Don’t really wish to think about the past papers because I dearly put in all my effort to squeeze out whatever that’s on my mind at that instant. I was even writing till the last second. Just don’t want the feeling of knowing yet forgetting it from happening:)
I can definitely bid farewell to my firstclasshonours unless a miracle happens. Didn’t really aim for anything when the exams are nearing, not even any opportunities that may surface. So thankful for the coming ones, and they are the most important interviews among all that I had. Really have to thank gohonson’s grace, and my deep prayers weeks back have really been answered. Haven’t really been praying this week and I shall make the effort to wake up earlier to praise god for everything:)
No more but’s, regrets nor “shit, I should have…” (my all time favourite phrase). Live in this moment, seek happiness and comfort while juggling with the intense pressure. Five days of positivity can bring wonder to myself, and even to the ones around me:)
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I don’t know where to post this note, but she has dearly show me the true meaning behind friendship.
She woke up early in the awe hours just to send me to the East for my morning paper. No paper for her, yet camping at Changi Starbucks for my paper to end and fetching me to the library once again. I think her boyfriend is amazingly nice.An egg tart left behind for me because she’s feeling drowsy after her medication and had to head back. Despite the quarrel we once had, I’m so glad that they are bygones.
She’s the sweetest friend that I have ever seen, just to make sure I have sufficient time to study for my AMA paper after my ME today. And all I can do in return is to offer my notes and a small part of my brain to teach her concepts at times.
I need to be a better friend to everyone:) so glad C and I smiled and made a small conversation before ME paper. One less stranger:)
On a happy note, my boy is the highest for his E and A Maths. Efforts are paid off. Thankful for God’s grace. I will work hard for tomorrow despite feeling real tired.
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One down:)
It wasn’t really good, coupled with the morning train breakdown and my itchy red sore eye caused by my contact lens that made me tear half way through the paper. Nonetheless, my focus level was higher than last year and I really did tried my best. May do worse than last year with the heavy content and tight schedule, but the best is enough:)
I thought I’ll get beaten up again, but decided to spare myself from the agony and channel the energy on my other papers instead. The long train trip to the east smells less familiar with each time and probably that’s a good sign. At least my mind is at ease and feel happy for them:) Hoping to feel as indifferent if i bump into anyone of them!
“Happiness lies in appreciating the simplest treats of life.” This sparks me to rewind back to two full years back. All’s the same, of course not counting the bygones. I was once so cheerful, positive and full of energy. Somehow this vibe is back this year:) i wish to be like before all over again even if I have lost my childlike innocence.
Who say growing up means smiling lesser, frowning and worrying more? *Raised up my hands and feet until i decided to take a step back:)
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This pretty much sum up my past few days!
The best of anything but everything:
Keeping everything in life simple and harmless, with lesser expectations but the same amount of effort. Smile, laugh and staying positive for as long as I can will be my best wish:)
Recalled a past comment made during prelims that I really enjoy doing calculus. I love what I’m studying even though I can’t score at it. The last route and I know it’s not going to be easy for the next few weeks. Many disappointments, anxiety and surprises, but I shall learn to face it and pray that all’s going to be smooth sailing.
No opportunities, expected albeit helpless. Living each day can bring a certain level of enlightenment. For every moment is not repetitive, and there’s always an end to everything.
My personal pact for this exam period thus far is prolly working, and probably this is the best way of loving myself:)
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